


Counting Sunsets

by Recluse (binukot)



Category: Gaya Sa Pelikula (Web Series), Gaya sa Pelikula (Web Series) RPF
Genre: M/M, PangPang - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 23:56:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29584092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/binukot/pseuds/Recluse
Summary: Prompt: #29 - In a world where it is technically possible to know when you are going to die, two strangers decide to spend their last day together.Pair/s: Ian/Paolo
Relationships: Ian Pangilian/Paolo Pangilinan, PangPang
Comments: 7
Kudos: 32
Collections: Kilometer Zero: A GSP Prompt Fest 2021





	Counting Sunsets

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
> 
> TW: Mention of death/suicide, existential dread/angst, anxiety

**D-15**

David opens his eyes, jolted awake by a loud ringing in his ears. He groans, pushing his laptop on the bed. A word document is open, the cursor blinking tirelessly on the screen. David squints, trying to make out the words he has written, then clicks the Save icon. He sighs and strains his neck, attempting to fix the creak that has been constantly bothering him for months now. He yawns, stretching his limbs and settling back to bed. But then, a buzz and a knock on the door interrupts him from sneaking a 5-minute nap. He trudges toward the front door as another buzz fills his apartment.

“Sandali lang.” He looks through the peep hole. _A delivery guy._ He opens the door.

“Good morning po. Delivery for Mr. Hernandez.”

“That’s me.” David signs off on the package and notices the peaking sunrise on the horizon. “Ang aga niyo po magdeliver Kuya ah.” He remarks.

“Importante po kasi.” The delivery man hands him an envelope with a big bold Priority Mail stamped on it. “Sige Sir. Have a nice day.”

“Thank you po.” He gives the man a thankful smile then takes one more look at the sunrise, muted blues and grays of the sky now touched with a faint yellow as the soft rays of the sun shines through the clouds. He takes another second to admire the sight, then closes his apartment door just as the cold morning air gently licks his skin.

Once indoors, David inspects the letter. _Huh. Who sent this?_ He checks every side of the envelope, not seeing any addressee. _Weird._ He reaches for the Sword of Godric Gryffindor, then slices the envelope open. Inside, he finds a brochure, a letter, and a ticket. His eyebrows furrow as he reads each piece of document.

 _Seriously?_ He shakes his head in disbelief. _Your end is near. In 15 days' time, your life will meet its final conclusion. Journey with us into the horizon and we’ll be sure to send you off with a smile._ He confirms the date on the ticket. _Fifteen days from now._ He carefully reads the letter and shudders. _Cause of death: *******************._

“Gago. This must be someone’s idea of a practical joke.” He says aloud. He leaves the unwelcome piece of information on the counter and fixes himself a cup of coffee, the nutty aroma and the slow drip of coffee on glass slowly lifting his mood. He pours the fresh brew in a tumbler and tops it with frothed milk. He takes an eager sip. “Coffee.”

He brings his attention to his laptop, reviewing the scenes he’s written. An hour passes by and his alarm goes off. He quickly saves the document, stuffs the laptop into his backpack, and rushes to get ready for work. He brushes his hair up, fixing a stray strand, then takes one more look at himself in the mirror. Pink button down, distressed jeans, and white sneakers. He unbuttons his shirt, just enough for his pecs to peak out. He nods, approving the casual look. He takes his keys from the bowl on the table and spots the brochure, remembering what it said. He shakes his head.

“Off to school.” He says out loud, as if doing so would drive the negative thought away.

Dave takes a sip of coffee as he wades through traffic. On his side mirror, he sees an ambulance approaching. He promptly moves his car to the right side of the road. The ambulance drives by, siren blaring loudly. Dave feels his stomach churn, then his breathing starts to get erratic. He taps his fingers on the wheel, trying to dissipate the anxiety. His chest aches. He bites his lower lip, tears welling in his eyes. He takes a deep breath, almost forceful, wishing negative thoughts could take a physical form and a simple exhale can blow them away like pollens in the wind. A loud honk takes him back to the road in front of him. He grips the wheel and gives an apologetic wave to the car behind him. He rushes to a nearby park, then rolls the windows down. With shaking hands, he opens a paper bag and breathes into it, just as he was taught. Minutes that felt like an eternity pass by then he leans on his seat, relieved and tired.

“Okay ka lang?”

Dave turns to his left. A concerned smile.

“Sorry, ang epal. Making sure lang.” The stranger hands him a bottle of water.

“Oh. Thank you.” He graciously takes the water, drinking it empty. “Sorry.” He apologizes, giving him the empty sports bottle.

“Okay lang yun. May extra pa ako.” He takes the bottle and stuffs it on his side. “Okay ka na?”

“Yeah. Thank you.”

He nods. “Malayo pa ba pupuntahan mo?”

Dave looks at him, not responding to the question. He notices his attire – red sleeveless, black running shorts, two water bottles strapped around his waist.

“Pasensiya ka na. I probably sound like I’m prying, pero I just want to make sure you’re okay to drive.”

Dave looks at his face now, observing his expression and seeing his eyelashes. _Wow they’re really long. Wait, what am I doing? Dave, get a grip._

“Sir?”

“Uhm…I’m okay. I can drive. ‘Diyan lang naman ako.”

“Okay.” He smiles, happy to hear the response. “Great!” He checks his watch. “Mauna na ako. Ingat po kayo.” He then jogs back toward the park before Dave can say anything.

Dave looks at the stranger, jogging farther away, his leg muscles flexing with each calculated stride like a seasoned runner. _What am I doing? First you get a panic attack then you check out a random stranger who was kind enough to help you out. Dave Hernandez, you are a mess._

**D-14**

Dave sinks in his chair, his head incessantly pounding since this morning. He shuts his eyes, feeling every pulse of the pain shooting in his temples. A quiet knock and he opens his eyes.

“Hey.” Sue places a cup of tea on the table. “You look like you need it.” She remarks, obviously concerned.

Dave rubs his temples. “Thank you.” He sips the tea, the warm liquid calming his stresses away as it slides down his throat. He breathes a sigh of relief. “Lavender.” He glances at Sue for confirmation.

Sue nods, sipping her own. “Your tea game is strong today.”

Dave smirks. “At least I’m faring well in that department.”

Sue places her cup on Dave’s table. “Bad day?”

Dave taps the pile of papers on his table. “Tunaw na brain ko kakaread ng script ng class. Nakakapagod.” He pauses. “But yesterday was worse.” He takes a long sip. “I was hyperventilating.”

“Shit. How bad was it?” Sue pulls out a chair and sits across Dave.

“I was driving to school then may dumaan na ambulance. Bigla na lang akong kinabahan…it just went downhill from there.” He recalls. “I think this all started with that stupid letter.”

“You got a letter?”

_You just got a letter._

_You just got a letter._

_You just got a letter._

_I wonder who it’s from?_

As if on cue, both sing the song from their childhood, then burst into a giggle.

After a second, Dave groans. “If only the letter is as fun as what Steve used to get.”

Sue’s eyebrows scrunch, starting to get worried. “Go on.”

“It’s from Sunset Cruise.”

“Like yung funeral place?”

Dave nods.

“Okay, that’s unsettling.”

“I know, right? And I got the letter first thing in the morning pa. What a way to start your day!” Dave complains. “But it must be a prank! This can’t be real.”

Sue nods, then her face lights up. “Oh! I think I read an article about the proliferation of scams in that vein these days. Instead of a cruise, they get sent on a boat para mangisda ng tuna.”

“I vaguely remember reading it.”

“I think they posted what the fake letter looked like.” Sue googles something on her phone, then quickly shows the image to Dave. “Did it look like this?”

Dave scans the image, his stomach churning. The letter he received didn’t look anything like the fake one. “I’ll have to check at home.”

Sue nods and sends the article to Dave. “Similar?”

“Yeah.” He fakes a smile. “But I’ll check just to be sure.”

**D-13**

Lucas glances at his watch, strap wrapped snuggly on his wrist. 7 AM, enough time to drive to the venue. He scans his room one more time, hand on the doorknob, then taps his laptop bag, remembering that he brought his essentials - stethoscope, BP monitor, his white coat, a first aid kit, and his laptop.

“Lucas, uwi ka na?”

Lucas shuts the door to his room, then turns to face Ana. He puts his arm on her shoulder and they walk side by side toward the exit.

“Mamimiss mo ‘ko?” He teases.

“Sus! One week lang naman.”

“Ang tagal din nun.”

Ana rolls her eyes. “Hay naku. Araw-araw ka nang andito. You deserve this break, ‘Cas. Magpahinga ka, please.”

Lucas chuckles. “Oo na, ‘Nay.”

Ana eyes him. “Teka, bakit bihis na bihis ka?” Ana crosses her arms. “Bakit parang may pupuntahan kang importante?” She probes, finding the lack of scrubs on her best friend’s attire suspicious.

“Luh, grabe naman to. Lagi naman akong nakapolo ah.”

Ana raises an eyebrow. “Kung may conference.”

“Doc H., handa ka na? Thank you talaga sa pagvolunteer ha. Last minute request kasi.”

Ana turns her attention to their colleague who is hugging a cooler. “Volunteer?” She confirms, having an inkling what this is about.

“May blood donation drive sa A University.” He responds, moving the cooler to the vehicle waiting in the driveway.

Ana quickly looks at Lucas with her arms crossed. Lucas grins and before Ana could say anything more, he is already seated in the passenger seat, cheekily waving and mouthing an “I love you.”

\--

Lucas places a bag of blood in the cooler and checks the clipboard, ensuring each entry is legible. His phone rings. He braces his ears before answering the call.

“Hello, ‘Nay. Pauwi na po ako.” He teases.

“Hay naku, Lucas. Wag ako.” Ana responds, obviously frustrated.

He chuckles. “Sorry na.”

“Alam mo ikaw.”

Lucas takes a deep breath, knowing quite well what’s about to come.

“Ano yun? Napabuntong-hininga ka talaga?”

Lucas chuckles, finding it amusing that his bestfriend is as keen as always.

“Loko to. Di naman kita papagalitan.”

“Hindi ba?” He clarifies.

“Malaki ka na. Kaya mo nang magdesisyon. Tanong ko lang, masaya ka ba sa ginagawa mo?”

“Oo naman. Kumpara sa duty, bakasyon na ‘to.”

“Sa bagay.” Ana agrees. “Pero ‘Cas, iba pa rin talaga ang bakasyon. Isipin mo, kelan ka ba last nagswimming sa dagat? Tumambay sa coffee shop? Natulog ng 8 hours? Nagbinge ng series sa Netflix?”

Lucas ponders, hearing the list of things he has not afforded himself in a long time.

“Ano? Sa susunod?” Ana says, noticing the silence in the other line.

Lucas grins. “You know me too well, Ana.”

“Hay naku, Lucas Hernandez. Ang sarap mo kurutin.”

“Luh, di po tayo advocate ng violence.”

Ana’s laugh echoes in the receiver. “Last na yan ha? Magbakasyon ka na. Please.”

Lucas becomes silent for a moment, unsure what to say and doubtful if he’ll spend his mandatory leave just relaxing. How did he even do that before? “Subukan ko.” He finally responds, a safe answer. At least that should be enough to satisfy the best friend. Ana does not prod further and instead fills their conversation with updates on their day so far. Their call ends just as a couple of people approach the booth.

“Close na ba? He wanted to donate sana.” The woman points to her companion.

“Pwede pa naman po.” Lucas takes out the BP monitor. “Check po muna natin yung BP.” He motions for the man to sit and proceeds to wrap his arm with the band.

“First time niyo po ba magdonate, Sir?” He asks.

A moment passes by. “Dave, he’s asking you a question.”

“Uh…uhm. No, I’ve donated before.” He finally responds.

Lucas nods, now taking the apparatus off of the man’s arm. “Nagpuyat po ba kayo lately?” He asks. “Medyo mababa po sa ideal yung BP for donation.”

“Oh. Bummer.” The woman pats the man’s shoulder. “This is why you should stop your puyat, Dave.”

Lucas smiles respectfully at the lady and the man, who was apparently named Dave.

“Dave.” The woman calls Dave’s attention. “I’m sorry.” She apologizes to Lucas and grabs her friend by the arm. “I don’t know why he’s tulala right now.”

Lucas chuckles awkwardly.

The man struggles to find his words, flustered, the tips of his ears turning red. “I…uh…uhm. We’ve met before, haven’t we?” At last, coherent words come out of his mouth.

Lucas takes a good look at Dave. Bushy hair, angular face, thick eyebrows, kind eyes, cute smile. He squints, trying to remember where he had seen him before. “Di po ako sure.” He pauses. “Were you my patient?”

“No, but you did meet me in some kind of medical situation.” Lucas waits for Dave to give more details. “Sa park, QC Memorial, I think.”

Lucas echoes the place in his head. “Ah! Ikaw ba yung nasa kotse?”

“Yup. Hyperventilating.”

“Nice to see you again.” Lucas smiles, gently.

“Yeah. Small world.” Dave reaches out a hand. “I’m Dave. I teach here.”

Lucas returns the gesture. “Lucas.”

Sue and Lucas also exchange pleasantries then she spots the surname stitched on the breast of his white jacket. “Dr. L. Hernandez.”

“Hernandez? We have the same surname!” Dave excitedly asks more questions, as did Lucas.

Sue looks at Dave, then at Lucas, both completely invested in proving that they are either related or just complete strangers with the same surname. Which one they hope the other to be, she’s not entirely sure, but she’s leaning on the latter with the way Dave’s eyes are twinkling. “O-kay.” Sue rolls her eyes and takes out her phone, sensing this will take a while.

Their conversation draws on. The lively exchange steady, unlike the sky muting bright blue hues into a lovely rose quartz and serenity. A cold breeze softly blows in the air and the sidewalk lights flicker on as scheduled.

**D-12**

Lucas sits up on his bed, hands instantly searching for his phone. 5:59 AM, a minute shy of his usual alarm. He lets out a yawn, wiggles his toes, then stretches his limbs before proceeding with the rest of his morning routine. He tidies up his bed, brushes his teeth, then steps into the shower. By 6:30 AM he is dressed and ready for his morning run. He checks his schedule while in the car. Nothing for the whole week. _Oo nga pala. Forced leave._ He bites his lower lip, Ana’s words echoing in his ears. _Beach, kape, tulog, Netflix._ He saves the list on a notepad, then drives toward his alma mater. He is all smiles upon seeing the familiar line of trees and buildings. He parks in his usual spot and runs along the asphalt road, headphones in his ears. He pauses at every open manhole and snaps a story for his Instagram, making sure to tag Ana so she doesn’t nag him about not making good use of his me-time.

7:45 AM. Lucas is now at McDonald’s, famished after his run. He browses through the menu while waiting in line, debating to order Sausage McMuffin with egg and hashbrown or Longganisa with rice and egg. He peeks at the tray of the person ahead, now moving away from the counter. Steaming rice, juicy looking longganisa, and perfectly fried egg. He licks his lips. The latter and a side of pancakes it is. He takes his tray and looks around, all tables filled. He spots a familiar face and bites his lower lip, mustering up some courage.

“Hi!” Lucas beams.

“Doc! Fancy meeting you here.” The other responds, surprised but greets him with a smile. “Wanna sit?” He offers, noticing the lack of empty chairs elsewhere.

“Yes, I’d like that.” Lucas sits across him. “Thank you.” He pushes the box of pancakes between them. “Gusto mo?”

“Thanks, pero I’m good.” He gestures to his halfway consumed longganisa with egg. Which reminds me, di pa kita napapasalamatan, Doc. Libre kita.”

“Lucas na lang, Dave. And, no need na sa libre. Kahit sino naman…”

Dave interrupts him. “Lucas, I insist. Seryoso, I really appreciated what you did.”

Lucas chews on longganisa as he processes the look Dave is giving him. Eyebrows gently curved, caramel eyes softly prodding him to say yes, and lips in a gentle half smile. “O sige.”

His eyes sparkle. “Yes!”

“Excited ka?” Lucas teases.

Dave licks his lips and swiftly stands, hiding the soft blush on his cheeks by looking toward the café counter. “Coffee?”

Lucas chuckles. “Caramel macchiato.”

Dave nods and looks at Lucas. “Cold?”

“Hot.” He returns his gaze, his lips curling into a smile. “Please.”

**D-11**

Dave taps his fingernail on the table, mouse scrolling up and down. He scans the image on his laptop, then back at the letter. He’s right. It doesn’t look anything like the fake. He grips his fist, then clicks on the government website handling this concern. Support group Info. Hotline. Checking for Authenticity. He clicks on the link and is astounded you can easily check for the validity of your letter in the mall like this process has been part of life all this time. _Dave, you’re about to find out you’re going to die._ His chest tightens. He closes the window then sees the file of the play he’s writing. He frowns. _Am I really gonna die before I finish this? All that puyat._ He sighs, tears welling in his eyes. _Baka it’s not real and I’m just overthinking this right now._ He convinces himself, choosing to hold on to the positive outcome.

**D-10**

Lucas is at U Town Center sitting by the steps when droplets flood the screen of his phone. He looks up. The sky is gray. The soft drizzle quickly turns into heavy pouring rain. People lounging along the Center’s steps hurriedly take shelter in the shaded areas of the mall. He, too, trots toward the side shops and ducks under an umbrella. A man is walking toward the same umbrella Lucas is under, hair wet and clothes almost drenched.

“Dave?” He calls out. “Dito!”

“Hey.” Dave responds, voice significantly weaker than the usual energy Lucas has felt from him.

“Basang-basa ka na.” Lucas checks his own clothes. “Gusto mo to hiramin?” He starts to unbutton his printed maroon button down.

“I’m fine.” Dave places his hand on Lucas’. He proceeds to take off his grey sweater.

Lucas’ eyes widen. “Hoy ‘wag dito!” He whispers and tries to keep the sweater from lifting off this basang sisiw’s torso.

Dave pauses, eyeballing Lucas. He then lifts the front of his sweater, revealing a navy-blue shirt underneath.

Lucas chuckles, crossing his arms. “Akala ko naman hubadera ka na.”

Dave removes his sweater. He runs his fingers through his hair, then glances at Lucas. “Just to be clear, I would never, and I mean NEVER, undress in a place like this.”

Lucas laughs. “Sorry na.”

A minute pass by. They stand in silence. Lucas glances at the other every now and then, noting he is quieter than usual. His eyes are looking blankly ahead as he hugs himself and his wet sweater.

“Dave.” He grabs his arm and takes the sweater. “Kape tayo.” He gently pulls him toward the coffee shop behind them.

Dave is taken aback but appreciates the gesture. He allows the pull, almost wishing Lucas is running and he could just float behind him like a cape in the wind.

Lucas orders two cups of hot caramel macchiato and they settle in a corner table. Dave observes the man before him, folding his damp sweater as if he’s tidying up after a child. Dave brings his attention to his warm cup and takes a sip, the comforting aroma and warmth easing the knot in his chest. They continue to sit among the silent chatter and the occasional whirring of the blender in the café. 

“Lucas.”

Lucas simply looks at him, eyes warm and welcoming.

“I don’t know if this is a weird question or if it goes against your doctor code. Okay lang naman if you don’t answer it.” His fingers tap on the sides of his mug.

“Go lang.” He encourages him.

“Do you still deal with death in the hospital?” He pauses. “I mean, anyone who’s going to die has received a letter. So why wouldn’t they take the less painful option?”

“We still do.” Lucas nibbles his lip, thinking. “Yung iba, in denial. They don’t believe in the letter. Meron ding inuunahan na nila ang nakatakda. Others exploit the system and file for malpractice.”

Dave’s eyebrows wrinkle, annoyed at the latter situation. “That’s just wrong.”

Lucas nods. “It’s reality. Some people would rather use their death so they can support the people they’ll leave behind. But it’s not all bad. May ibang tanggap na ang mangyayari sa kanila at nilulubos na lang ang kanilang oras sa mundo. Up to the last second.”

Lucas’ last statement echoes in Dave’s ears as he reaches the counter. ASSESSMENT FOR VALIDITY is printed clearly on the glass.

“Good afternoon, Sir.” The attendant hands him a form. “Please fill up this form while I check your letter.” She pushes a tray toward Dave.

Dave reluctantly places his envelope on the tray and fills up the form, his hand clammy on the pen.

“Thank you for waiting.” She hands him his envelope back with a couple of flyers. “You will receive the verdict of this assessment tomorrow. The time is indicated on the flyer.” She points her fingers toward a couch. “Please read the flyer in the designated reading area before you leave.”

Dave was about to protest. Why did they have to prolong the agony? If he’s dying, then he might as well know now. He reluctantly goes to the sofa and reads the flyers. _We prioritize your safety. Please be at home during tomorrow’s sunrise, at 6:15AM. You will receive the result of your assessment through text and email at the specified time._ Even more dread is all Dave could feel.

**D-9**

The sun peers through the blinds on the window. Dave is awake, his fingers typing away on the keyboard. He does not know what brought on this sudden surge of creativity and motivation, but he’ll take it. If this is what it takes to finish this play, then so be it. His eyebags are heavy and his hair is anything but combed. He reaches for his cup and stands up, realizing it’s empty. He goes to the kitchen and notices the brightening sky through the window by the sink. His hand becomes cold, and a knot twists in his stomach.

He fishes his phone from under his blanket. There it is. 1 New Message. The same script from the flyer fills the first paragraph of the message. Then, a simple line in bold. _Assessment: Authentic_. Dave blinks. _Authentic._ He reads aloud. The knot in his stomach tightens, his heart beating in his ears. His fingers are weak, the tips cold and his palm is clammy. His phone slips and falls on the bed. His vision blurs. The room spins and the walls close in on him like it’s about to swallow him whole. His eyelids feel heavy. Dave crawls under his covers and as he rests his head on the pillow, his eyes closing shut, his entire existence falls endlessly in darkness.

**D-8**

Lucas sinks his feet in the sand and turns to the sweet laughter of his nephew. The little ball of sunshine is running about, water gun in hand, squirting sea water on his mom who’s pretending to run. Lucas’ smile is up to his cheeks, the sight heartwarming. On the side, Lucas’ beautiful mother is sitting on a beach towel, sunglasses on, big smile, and phone out as she takes a video of her daughter and grandchild.

Lucas puts on goggles and lies on the sand, arms spread wide. He moves them up and down. His nephew’s face blocks his view of the sky.

“Tito, ‘Cas. Anong ginagawa mo?” The little boy asks.

“Snow angel!” He exclaims.

“Snow? Buhangin naman to ‘eh.” He wiggles his little toes.

“Eh di sand angel.” Lucas corrects himself. He sits up, sand on his back, a big grin on his face. “Gawa tayo?”

His nephew nods, a giggle following his excitement. He hurriedly lies on the sand and moves his arms and legs, just the way they do in the movies.

“Teka, sama ako!” Lucas’ sister hears the conversation and takes her spot beside her son.

“O sige, picturan ko kayo.” Lucas’ mother joins in on the fun, climbing on a lifeguard chair that’s coincidentally nearby. She first takes a video, then snaps a shot of the adorable moment.

**D-7**

The blinds on the bedside window is drawn. Light from the outside illuminates the tiny droplets of rain on the glass. The room is dark and quiet, except for the soft piano from the Lady Bird soundtrack. The phone lights up and the music cuts off, interrupted by a call. Dave emerges from underneath the covers and answers the call.

“Hello?”

“Dave! Favorite person! Where you at?” Sue exclaims.

“I’m home.”

“Great! Movie night?” She suggests.

“I’m at home, sa bahay.”

“Ah.” Sue pauses. “Kakagising mo lang?” She points out, noticing Dave’s groggy voice.

“Yeah.”

“You missed the doggo?”

“Yeah.”

“What do you want for snacks? I can get us something along the way.”

Dave sits up. “But wala ako sa apartment. I’m at home.”

“Yeah, so? I can just drive over. It isn’t that malayo.”

Dave hears the sound of keys jangling and the engine humming from the receiver. “Sueeeeeee.”

“What? Sige na. What do you want to eat? Pizza? Burger? Fries? Wings?”

Dave’s eyes light up. “WINGS!” 

“Sige I’ll get Frankie’s.”

“You’re the best, Sue!” Dave climbs out of bed, turning on the lights. “I’ll make us spaghetti.”

“You don’t have to, but if you insist on making my night extra great with your world class dish, then I’ll take it graciously.”

Dave chuckles.

“Ah yes, my favorite person’s laughter. I’ll see you in a bit.”

**D-6**

Lucas is at home, visibly tanned. He is on his desk, the furniture looking worn out from all the years he spent studying on it. He places his bag on the desk and checks through his things. He takes out the doctor coat, now wrinkled, and makes a mental note to wash it later. He removes the other items inside, a spare charger, headphones, power bank, face towel, antibacterial tissue, hand sanitizer, books, pens, and a white envelope. He pauses, the envelope in his hands. He takes out the contents, a letter, a ticket, and a brochure. He’s seen this so many times, patients and loved ones alike showing it to the doctors, begging them to do what they can to make sure the inevitable does not happen. But they always failed. The letter is always right. Excluding those cases where people take it upon themselves to end their lives, having received the letter or not.

He leans back on his chair, looking through the frames on his wall. Pictures, certificates, medals. All his achievements. He sighs and checks his phone, his schedule now filled up for the next three weeks. He opens the list he made with Ana’s suggestion in mind. Beach, kape, tulog, Netflix. Only sleep left in the list. He glances at the time, 9 PM. He hurries out of his room, wanting to give the family a hug and maybe a kiss on the cheek before he sleeps for the night.

**D-5**

“Nagbeach ka!” Ana exclaims.

“Kami nila Ate.” Lucas clarifies.

“Dapat sinama mo kooooo.” Ana pouts.

“May duty ka eh.” Lucas responds with a pout as well. “Next time.” As the words leave his mouth, it suddenly dawns on him that he might not be able to. There won’t be a next time for him. He doesn’t have any more breaks left this month and Ana has exhausted all of her’s. How will he spend time with her? Not that they don’t already do that at work, but…

“Lucas.” Ana nudges. “Ang hirap naman ng next time. Nakita mo naman schedule natin. Kahit milk tea lang, okay na yun.” Ana beams and bats her eyelashes.

Lucas eyes her. “Ah…ngayon?”

Ana nods excitedly.

Lucas wraps his arm around Ana’s shoulders. “Tara! Milk tea!”

It doesn’t take them a long time to get to the milk tea shop nearby and head back out with their drink. As they leave the shop, Lucas sees Dave.

“Dave! Napadpad ka dito?” He greets him.

Dave chuckles. “We really keep running into each other.”

Ana’s eyes sparkle. “Baka nakatadhana.” She whispers.

Lucas nudges her with his elbow. “Si Ana pala. Best friend ko.”

Dave offers his hand. “Dave. Nice to meet you, Ana.”

Ana returns the gesture. “Hi.”

“Ikaw lang?” Lucas asks.

Dave nods. “May errand lang. Ikaw?”

“Di ko pa pala nasasabi sa’yo. Sa S Medical Center duty namin.”

Dave glances at Lucas’ attire. He is wearing white running shoes and a white shirt tucked into blue scrub pants. It’s a simple look, but the fit hugged him perfectly, especially the shoulders. Dave only now notices his toned upper body. “That’s why nakascrubs ka. You look cool.” He manages to say, before he starts looking like he’s ogling the other.

Lucas giggles. “Thanks. You too.”

Ana sips her milk tea and chews the pearls, her eyes darting from Lucas and to Dave. She glances at her watch, feeling more and more like a third wheel as the two men move from complimenting each other’s outfit to recalling the many times they keep meeting randomly and that they should just set a date to hang out. As the conversation draws on, Ana especially notices the lively way Lucas looks at the other. She smiles, heart feeling warm, and continues to sip her almost empty glass.

**D-4**

“You’ve been going home every day. You sure that isn’t too far? Your apartment is just nearby.” Sue asks, flipping to the next page of Lucas’ play.

“I’ll manage. I survived college naman with that setup. I just want to spend a lot of time at home…with the family and the doggos.”

Sue looks up from reading, eyeing him.

“What? I feel clingy, okay?” Dave pouts. “You know, the other day I met Lucas again.” He veers the conversation in another direction, scared Sue might put two and two together.

“Again? QC isn’t that big, but it’s crazy how many times you’ve met. It’s like destiny just wants you two to hit it off.”

“Yeah! And we just click!”

Sue scoffs. “I know.”

Dave pouts. “Sueee I’m sorry.”

She shakes her head. “And I thought you were donating blood. Nilamok kaya ako in my cold chair with the little light my cellphone could provide. Meanwhile, you two just kept chatting away and your eyes twinkled so much the stars in the sky were put to shame.” She finishes her rant with a huff.

Dave blushes, realizing that there is a possibility the connection he feels for this new friend is not one-sided. Perhaps there could be more. But then, there’s no point pursuing something he literally won’t be able to live up to. He hugs Sue, forcing his smile from fading. “Sorry na. I’ll treat you na lang.”

**D-3**

“Ana.” Lucas calls the attention of his best friend, busy writing on her clipboard.

Ana jolts, almost screaming. “Gago. Andiyan ka pala.” She notices the sullen mood of the other. “Oh, anong meron?”

He pulls up a stool beside her and leans on the table, arms crossed. “Di na ba ako pwede tumambay dito?” He pouts.

“Alam mo ikaw.”

Lucas turns to Ana, his cheek resting on his arm, a small smile on his lips. He braces his ears, ready to hear all the nagging Ana can muster. He’ll miss this.

“Nakakailang balik ka na dito ilang araw na. Parang ayaw mo ‘ko tantanan. Stalker ka ba? In love ka ba sa’kin?” She prods, finishing her question with a hand on her chest.

“Ang sungit nito. Miss ka lang eh.” Lucas pouts.

Ana nudges him with her shoulder. “’Sus! Di naman mabiro.” She places a hand on his back and takes a deep breath. “Lucas, sana ‘di ka magalit sa’kin.”

Lucas sits up, his full attention on Ana. “Bakit? May ginawa ka?” He crosses his arms, pretending to be a strict teacher from their high school days.

Ana nods. “Ano kasi…” She struggles to muster up the courage to say what needs to be said. Another deep breath. “Nakita ko yung letter.” She says, tears welling up in her eyes, her lips quivering. “Sorry. ‘Di ko sinasadya. Hinanap lang kita nung isang araw tapos naiwan mo sa mesa.” She explains, voice almost cracking.

Lucas nibbles his lower lip, his heart aching. This is precisely the reason why he didn’t say anything to anyone.

“Alam mo namang expert na tayo sa ganyan. Lalo na ako, di ba?” She gestures to the room, one side a steel compartment lined with steel handles, a long empty table in the middle of the room. Tears stream down her cheeks.

“Wala talagang makakatakas sayo, noh?” Lucas spreads his arms. Ana hugs him, as tight as she can, sobbing on his chest. Lucas embraces his best friend, tears streaming down his face. “Sorry.” He sniffles. “Tinago ko pa.”

Ana slaps his back. “Ano ka ba. Alam ko namang itatago mo. Kaya nga nakisakay na lang ako.” She loosens her embrace. “Pero Lucas, anong plano mo? Makikita ba kitang pumanaw dito? Ako ba ang hihiwa sa katawan mo para iembalm ka?” She wipes her tears with her hands.

“Dalawang araw din yun. Marami pa akong magagamot ‘nun.” Lucas reasons out.

Ana’s eyebrows scrunch. “May iba namang pwede gumamot. Hindi lang ikaw ang doktor on duty. Paano na lang kaming mga kaibigan at pamilya mo? Lucas, maawa ka. Ayokong makita kang nahihirapan.” She stands and walks toward the compartment. She opens a door and pulls out the empty tray. “Oh ano? Gusto mong humiga dito? Halika! Malamig na!”

“Ana naman eh.” Lucas looks at her, his expression sad.

She sighs, pushing the compartment shut. “'Cas.” She sits beside him again. “Ikaw ang pinakaselfless na taong kilala ko. Simula pa ‘nung bata tayo, sige ka lang ng sige. Laban ng laban. Takbo ng takbo. Kahit man lang sa huling araw mo, sa huling hininga mo, magpahinga ka na. Huwag mo nang hayaan na makaranas ka pa ng sakit. You deserve it, you’ve been working hard and running all your life. You deserve a painless rest. At walang mag-iisip na nagpapakaselfish ka. Lalo na ako.”

**D-2**

Dave enters his cubicle. Small, but cozy. The bed covers almost half of the room. It almost feels like a glorified coffin if not for the bathroom and wide windows on both sides of the bed. Plus, the view is gorgeous. He places his bag on the floor, a small backpack with only his essential items. He lies on the bed, limbs spread-out. He recalls how odd his family looked at him when he made sure to hug everyone for at least a minute. And Sue. His favorite person. One last movie night together, a sad one so he can mask the real reason he’s crying. He sits up and decides to look around. Might as well. When else can he experience this? He chuckles. _Oh right, never._ His smile turns into a frown.

Everyone else in the ship looks just as sullen as Dave, except for those who are with people they know. Perhaps a tragic accident. He peers at the entrance of the ship, a mixture of people waving and wailing. Some choose to wear black or white like they’re attending a burial. Others are in brightly colored themed clothing, possibly a celebratory gesture for the person passing.

Dave explores the ship and sees several activities lined up for the passengers. A dance hall, a karaoke room, a mini golf area, lounge beds, a bar, a small theatre, a game room, a pool, a jacuzzi, and a restaurant. He stops by the restaurant, checking the menu. Everything looks delicious and the room smells great, but his appetite is nowhere to be found.

He goes back to the entrance, wanting to see the cruise ship leave the port. The same wailing and waving and multicolored clothes on the port. One person catches his eye, running towards the ship with a laptop bag across his body. He can’t believe anyone would be running like their life depended on it, just to get on to this cruise. It’s not like it’s a vacation.

Just as the man steps onto the ship, the attendants on the port remove the plank and the ship honks. Dave is astonished. “Lucas.”

**D-1**

“Dave.” Lucas unconsciously utters the name of the person in front of him. This is unexpected. To die with someone you know, sort of. An experience he is not prepared for. A lightbulb in his head lights up. It makes sense now. That conversation in the coffee shop, all his questions, and his state when he saw him.

“Lucas. What are you doing here?” Dave asks, hoping the other got on by mistake.

“Ikaw? Bakit andito ka?” He answers with a question, as if telling him he’s here for the exact reason he is.

Dave sees the same ticket he used in the other’s hand. “This is crazy. Pati ba naman dito, we’re still running into each other?”

Lucas smirks. “Destined?” He suddenly misses Ana.

Dave can only respond with a shy smile.

Lucas notices the tinge of pink on Dave’s cheeks, the other trying to cover it up with a nose rub and his eyes looking elsewhere as if that will help hide his blush. _Cute._ Lucas shakes the thought away and walks the hallway.

Dave follows along, almost like a lost puppy. “This is weird. I never thought I’d be here with someone I know. Now it feels like a vacation.”

Lucas ponders. “It is…sort of. For me, anyway.” He shares.

Dave is silent for a moment. Sure, this may be a cruise to the end, but others choose this not just for the painless option, but maybe for the vacation itself. A treat they’ve been wanting to reward themselves to cap off their life of hard work.

Lucas stops in front of his cubicle door. “Ito na ata room ko.”

“Crazy I tell you! This is my room!” He walks up to the door alongside, his expression all excited. “Sadya ba to?”

Lucas shakes his head. “Di naman ata tayo pinapili ng room.”

“Right? Is the universe telling us something?” His arms are up in the air, like he’s blown away by all this.

Lucas can’t help but laugh. “Kalma lang.”

Dave touches his nose again, embarrassed.

 _I am noticing this cute mannerism now, because?_ Lucas questions himself. “Hey Dave.” He gives it a thought, leaning on his door. “So do you want to just give it to the universe and…gawin to na magkasama?” He proposes.

Dave blinks, mouth ajar, like it’s the only thing he can do.

“Ano?” Lucas nudges his shoulder. “Sagot. Pinapahiya mo naman ako.”

Dave takes a big inhale, gathering and processing Lucas’ proposal, then he responds. “Sure.”

“Great!” Lucas smiles graciously.

Late breakfast.

“Chicken longganisa with sinangag is the best breakfast in the world.” Dave declares.

“Cinangague.” Lucas echoes, teasing and making a mental note of the funny way Dave says the word.

Lunch hour.

“I still can’t believe you like spaghetti.” Dave points out, stuffing a twirl of pasta into his mouth. “Ang dami nating similarities. Why didn’t we meet sooner?”

Lucas can only shrug his shoulders.

Dinner.

“Steak and wine! This is so romantic.”

“May sunset pa oh.” Lucas and Dave look at the approaching horizon.

“Do you think we’re really heading into the sunset? Maglalaho ba tayo when we get there?”

Lucas scrunches his face. “Probably not. But who knows? This whole phenomenon cannot be explained by science.”

Dave shrugs. “After this, do you want to dance? The dance hall is open.”

“Oo ba. Ballroom night, right? Namiss ko nang sumayaw.”

Breakfast.

“Chicken longganisa with sinangag is the best breakfast in the world.” Dave proclaims.

“Sinabi mo din yan kahapon.” Lucas scoops tapa onto his spoon.

“Well it’s true!”

Lunch.

“This is the best garlic butter shrimp I’ve ever had.” Dave declares yet again.

Lucas is unsure if Dave is just passionate about food or he’s unraveling. “Meh. You should taste my mom’s version. She makes it even tastier.” Lucas sees the look of disappointment on Dave’s face. They probably have the same thought. No matter how much he boasts about his mother’s cooking, Dave will never get to taste it and he, too, will never get to have any of her dishes anymore. All of Dave’s declarations this whole time they’ve been eating or doing activities together, he’s giving a finality to all his experiences. “Gusto mo mag-mini golf?” Lucas suggests.

Mini golf.

“I can do this!” Dave is poised to hit the ball straight into the wall, hoping it will bounce at the right angle and reach the hole before the castle doors shut.

Lucas is all smiles, but he has fire in his eyes as he intently watches the ball take off, hit the wall, and roll straight into the castle doors. He almost let’s out a victorious squeal.

Pool.

“Ang layo na pala natin.” Lucas hangs out at the edge of the infinity pool, his arms crossed on the glass. The city is no longer visible, only the blue line where the sky meets the sea on the horizon.

Dave contemplates for a moment. “Did you tell anyone?” He glances at Lucas.

Lucas shakes his head. “My best friend found out.” The memory of that tear-filled moment still fresh.

“Ana?”

Lucas nods. “Ikaw, may sinabihan ka?” He turns to Dave.

He shakes his head. “I don’t think I can handle na makita silang umiiyak.”

\--

It is their last hour. The sun is midway into descent. Orange hues are blending into the sky and the blues are slowly muting out into grays.

Dave finds a guitar by the pool area at the front of the ship. He takes it and sits on a round lounge bed, overlooking the approaching horizon.

“Marunong ka palang magplay?” Lucas sits beside him.

Dave nods. He strums each string, checking if the instrument is tuned. Then, he sings.

_It doesn't seem to make sense  
Everything was going well  
Guess that was just the surface  
'Cause underneath I couldn't tell  
No, I couldn't, I couldn't tell_

_He was my brightest star  
In the night I couldn't ignore  
'Cause when he plays his guitar  
He knows exactly where to go  
He takes the lead and I follow_

_Aimlessly I follow_

_In a parallel universe  
Everything in reverse  
Maybe you could be mine  
In a parallel universe  
Where timing is kind to us  
Maybe we would be alright_

_I put myself to blame  
I let you get away  
But I feel it coming back  
I close my eyes, I flashback  
And just like that, I relapsed_

_Helplessly I relapsed_

_In a parallel universe_  
Everything in reverse  
Maybe you could be…

Lucas is speechless. Emotions brimming in his chest. His voice is soft but whole and audible enough it almost sounds like he’s whispering his emotions to the wind.

“Pati din pala pagkanta magaling ka.” Lucas comments, a compliment that needs to be said.

Dave sings several more songs and they share a duet of that Lilo and Stitch song, yet another similarity they find with each other. Dave puts the guitar down and pulls the blanket over his legs. “It’s cold noh?” He confirms with Lucas.

Lucas nods. “Medyo.” He slips his feet under the fleece blanket.

Neither of them mind the other’s close proximity, feeling the cold chill in the wind despite the warm glow of the setting sun. Lucas slings his arm over Dave’s shoulders, pulling him close. Dave rests his head on the crook of Lucas’ neck.

“Lucas, are we dying?” He asks, seeing the sunset larger than ever, looming in the horizon.

Lucas looks at Dave, his eyes visibly scared. He places his palm on his forehead and he also checks his pulse, his doctor instincts kick in. Physically he doesn’t seem to be displaying any of the usual symptoms. He hugs him tighter, wishing his warmth could quell the cold creeping into Dave’s soul, just as he feels the chill in his own.

Dave yawns and rests his head on Lucas’ chest. “Your heartbeat is calming.” His eyelids feel heavier.

Lucas feels the call of sleep. He yawns. Is this really the end? Is this how they’re going to go? The sun is almost encompassing the sky.

“Tama pala yung flat earthers.” David utters in between heavy blinking, sleep slowly taking him.

“Gago.” Lucas taps David’s arm as they both chuckle.

“Antok na talaga ako. Lucas, can we nap?” Dave asks, looking up at Lucas, his dark brown eyes illuminated by the sun.

“Mmm.” Lucas agrees.

They share a smile. “Good night.” Their untold wishes, could have beens, and farewell said in two simple words.


End file.
